At the risk of falling back into the cut-and-paste style of blogging that I have so recently promised to avoid, I'm posting this little nugget that I just read on some nice ladies blog. This is really just for my dear sister and I hope she appreciates it. For everyone else, please read with caution... or not. Actually, everyone should read this. Cause if you can't relate to it, I'm sure someone in your life can and you should be a pal and laugh about it with them. So here it is:

"Sea Sponge Quarterly Report

Ahem. It's been three months since I started using sea sponges instead of getting burned by the makers of Tampax tampons for their bleached out wads of cotton at 12.00 a pop. The first month, I felt like the sea sponge was too big. The second month, it felt better, but sometimes I think it gave me cramps when I'd sit down. This month, I discovered that when you sneeze, the pelvic floor (Kegel) muscles in your vagina contract, or squeeze. Guess what happens when you squeeze a partially full sponge?

Delightful.

Our next door neighbors, who think we're kind of weird anyway, tentatively allowed their 5 year old daughter to come over to play with Alex yesterday, on the condition that I was going to stay outside the whole time to watch them. Which is some strange sort of bullshit, since they certainly don't stay outside the whole time when Alex is over there, and they don't even have a fenced-in back yard like we do. But whatever, I'd planned on staying out there anyway, until I sneezed and sprayed blood all over the patio. When I came back outside, my neighbors had pulled their daughter back over the fence and had disappeared into their house. They don't speak English very well, so how could I possibly explain the sponge incident to them? Really, I think running into the house and changing clothes was much less traumatizing to small children, or anyone for that matter, than looking like Stephen King's Carrie from the waist down, don't you?"

If you really need to know where to find the rest of this woman's blog, drop me an email and I'll be happy tell you (I hope you all don't immediately confuse this for the desperate pleadings of someone who wants to know how many people actually read this blog and is too proud to call all of his friends and ask them, even though that's exactly what it is.)