Innovative new technology

Now, you'd think that airlines, what with their hundred-year involvement in the sort of physics voodoo that allows apartment blocks to fly, would be pretty hard to impress when it comes to the 'innovative new technology' department. I mean, they pay it all cool when it comes to hundreds of people enjoying video-on-demand from their seat-back touch-screens which traveling a thousand miles an hour 35,000 feet up in the air. "Oh that?" they ask, pretending to stifle a yawn, "yeah, it's just a little something that we do."
But the industry does have one trick that it loves to tout as Innovative! New! Technology!: e-tickets.
Here's a tip airline industry: being able to use a computer to look at a list of names at an airport check-in counter does NOT count as 'innovative new technology'. Unless those screens are being read by sexy-voiced robots that can also beat you at checkers any day of the week while tagging your luggage.
And here are a few things that might actually count as innovative new technology: i) rfid-ified luggage tags. So they actually know where your bags are. Even if they end up in Ouagadougou, at least they know it.
ii) meals that don't smell like urinals. You know that odd combination of gross and disinfectant? How do they get it to smell like both at the same time? Actually, that is pretty innovative.
iii) a plane that can't be hijacked by cutlery. I mean, plastic knifes are fun and all, but when your hand slips because the plastic knife has softened up while cutting your hot entree, and you slice your hand open on the edge of the metal chinese-takeout tray (which, ironically, is as sharp as a samurai blade), it's hard to get the flight attendent's attention for a bandage without bleeding all over yourself.
iv) clear, sound-proof domes that drop, oxygen mask style, from the ceiling in the event of a crying baby or snoring row-mate. Please affix over your travelling companion, securing snugly by pulling firmly on the plastic tabs.
or, best of all, v) in-flight hibernation mode like in sci-fi space flight. I'd gladly doze in an upright, glass-fronted coffin stacked in rows in giant supersonic transport planes if it meant that I could forgo the plastic knives, horrid movies and crying babies.

Anyway, this little tirade was spawned when I booked a ticket last week on Malaysian Airlines and they insisted on sending me a paper ticket (and believe me, when you're in Cambodia, booking a ticket online to leave from Kuala Lumpur and you don't have a mailing address anywhere, it's a giant pain in the ass.)
paper. ticket.
What is this? 1995? Why the retro stylings? Perhaps it's related to the current malysian tourism campaign. It has been 50 years (sort of) since malaysia gained its independence so 2007 is 'visit malaysia year'. Maybe they're trying to make us feel like it's 1957 all over again.

break down

So I've just spent 5 weeks in SE Asia, traveled from Kuching to Phnom Pehn to Kuala Lumpur, eaten roti and curry, laksa and nasi lamak, moved by car, bus, plane, moto and bamboo train, and finally after all that, I broke down and did something awful. Here I am, hours before stepping on a plane to Miami and I... I... I just... I mean... I... it just seemed like such a good idea at the time...
...
ok, here goes:
IwenttoburgerkingohI'msosorryitwillneverhappenagain.
And after that first (admittedly satisfying) bite, it became clear just what a mistake it was. And I have quite the McStomach Ache.

airport pick-up

For all of my airport security complaining I really do love to travel. And it's not just the sights, smells and sounds, the charming smiles and unexpected pleasures. For me it's also about the actual travel. The miles passed and the act of passing them. London suburbs whipping past train windows, the lulling hum of wheels on the autobahn, the endless dunes of the Sahara crawling slowly beneath a plane. I really just like to be on the move. And it really doesn't matter if it's cars, trucks, trains, planes, boats, buses, bicycles, motorcycles, hovercrafts or helicopters, they're all great (though helicopters definitely get extra cool points).

Today I flew into Phnom Pehn from Kuala Lumpur. I chose the 2 hour flight over the 2 day bus ride (but to be fair, I did take the bus last time). I've been beginning to worry that this trip may be turning me into a bit of a wimp (what with my decadent flight from Malaysia), so I was starting to feel bad that I had someone coming to meet me at the airport instead of just grabbing a taxi out to meet them when my ride appeared... on his moped.

And with his brother on the back.

But seeing this as an opportunity to show how I'm game for anything, we pile my bags on and the three of us climb on to this little scooter and race off ('race' being a relative term). I really wish I had have stopped to take a picture of the three of us and all of my clothes and gear for a 9 month trip around the world loaded onto what's basically a bicycle with a blender motor strapped to it weaving our way through Phnom Penh traffic. And I probably would have taken a picture too, if I hadn't been too busy humming the Dead Kennedys.