Just that time of the morning...

I've finally learned the secret to keeping this blog alive. I just need to keep staying up past 4am. Something about this time of the morning that generates these rambling posts about absolutely nothing, or in this case possibly the most imbecilic thing on the entire internet.
So there's this kid right? (Let's just call him "Cody Darnell") "Cody" is nine years old, and like most nine year-olds, Cody is not the sharpest pencil in the box, but this is no fault of Cody's, it's just that, hey, he's nine. So Cody makes a bet with his cousin Mikey over thanksgiving dinner. Not just any bet, but the stupidest bet in the entire world.
Cody, nine year-old that he is, bets his cousin that he can print out the entire internet. If Cody wins, he gets $50 dollars. So Cody goes off to print out the entire internet (every time I type that it just makes me laugh. I think this will be my new hyperbole: "This is even awesomer than printing out the entire internet" how rad does that sound?).
Okay, so under the terms of the bet, Cody has six months to print out the entire internet and if Mikey can find a site on the Internet which has not been printed he wins the bet, if he can’t he loses. (you know, the more I think about it, I think this bet is actually the raddest bet ever in the history of the internet).
Anyway, alerted by the incessant humming and whirring of the printer, Cody's parents come to hear about the bet. They call Mikey, he agrees to call it off and apologize to young Cody for being a jerk. fine. this is where the story would end except for one important thing. Cody Darnell is actually the smartest kid in the entire world. An absolute genius. I'm telling you, the world has never seen a mind like young Cody Darnell's. You see, young Cody somehow managed to convince his parents that he could actually print out the entire internet.
(They added the condition that websites which contain adult or obscene content be excluded from the bet. Dwight (young Cody's father) explained, "I know there’s some nasty filth on the Internet that a good Christian family like the Darnells don’t want to see so we got us some clever software that stops it getting into our humble home.")
Now this is where things start getting completely out of control (like they weren't already). A local radio station find out about the bet and does a story on it. Then others in town start pitching in. The local computer store, Big Frank’s World of Computers (I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried), has donated a laser printer and the Springwood Traders' Association is seeking donations from local businesses to cover the costs of paper and printer toner. Others are helping by taking it in turns to do the printing, creating lists of websites to be printed and providing storage space for the printouts.
The whole thing then takes a turn to the surreal. He's the end of the article:
"This heart warming story of determination and community spirit has been featured on national and international news services and the Darnells have become local celebrities. Dorothy, a waitress at a local diner and Dwight, an unemployed truck driver, have been surprised by the amount of interest in Cody’s story. As Dorothy explained, "We've been getting hundreds of calls from all sorts of people. Most of them want interviews and we've even had Hollywood people wanting to make a feature film. Imagine that, a film about our Cody and little ol’ Springwood."

"little ol’ Springwood."? Oh please.

And here we go with the kicker:

"The bet will be decided on May 24th, 2006 and will be celebrated a special holiday proclaimed by the mayor of Springwood, Ed Newsome, as Internet Day. Cody summed up the sentiment of the town by saying, "This is like, totally, the coolest thing ever. I'm gonna show Mikey that he’s wrong." before returning to his computer and printer."

So, Cody Darnell, stupidest smartest boy on the internet. Too bad he didn't want to run for president or something, because I'm sure he talk his way into that one too...
Of course the whole point of this post, besides to explain my new love for the espression "print out the entire internet" is to illustrate that old just-because-it's-on-tv-don't-mean-it's-true thing. In fact, dear readers, if anyone can offer any kind of corroboration for this story, I'll go and print out the entire internet. How about that? Of course, maybe a better idea would be to just send me to bed before I can even find these things...