spam
Right. So I've been spending more and more time online and in the blog world (not this blog obviously, but, you know, in the blog neighbourhood. Anyway, during that time I've seen a veritable metric ton of spam. Email spam, comment spam, trackback spam, spammity spam spam. But I have to say, rare is the spam that makes me stop and consider, if only for a fleeting moment, actually clicking on their links or calling their numbers. And so I give you the comment spam that dropped onto that last post a couple of days ago:
"While you read this, YOU start to BECOME aware of your surroundings, CERTIAN things that you were not aware of such as the temperature of the room, and sounds may make YOU realize you WANT a real college degree.
Call this number now, (413) 208-3069
Get an unexplained feeling of joy, Make it last longer by getting your COLLEGE DEGREE. Just as sure as the sun is coming up tomorrow, these College Degree's come complete with transcripts, and are VERIFIABLE.
You know THAT Corporate America takes advantage of loopholes in the system. ITS now YOUR turn to take advantage of this specific opportunity, Take a second, Get a BETTER FEELING of joy and a better future BY CALLING this number 24 hours a day.
(413) 208-3069"
Can you imagine having a conversation with someone that spoke like this!? How awesome would that be? Or finding an entire webpage with randomly capatilized words and feelings of cheap bliss that it attempts to convey? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and listen to some SOUNDS that may MAKE me realIZE that I want A real COLLEGE DeGrEe.
4 Comments:
it sounds a wee bit japlish to me. and whispery.
(uggghh)shudder. and it's a long one, too. the stuff of nightmares.
love from leila
I'm not sure I'd trust anyone who couldn't spell "degrees". It's not possessive, it doesn't get an apostrophe.
...er, you know. Assuming I'd be considering trusting anyone who sold college degrees over the internet in the first place.
Ryan Lash, I will not bash my eyelash and spam you with my Spam for breakfast.
(slams door)
it reads like one of those old school text-based RPGs. e.g. "You find yourself in a dark room with two doors on each side, do you turn left or right? [left] You turn left, three spiked rats approach, do you fight or run? [fight] You kill all rats and take 3HP damage, you collect 25XP, rat meat, 3 pieces of gold...and a college degree."
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